tacaldweI Can Do It! I Can Do It!
~Ruby Miller
It was my 22nd birthday and I was being dropped off to a hotel. Not to celebrate. I was leaving for the Navy. My mom, who has always been one of few words gave me a hug as we said our goodbyes. My grandmother, on the other hand, walked around the car doing this funky little 2-step and says, “just think to yourself I can do it, I can do it.” She continues to sing her mantra as she grabs me by the hands and pulls me into her 2-step. I passively joined her happy dance.
She did that chant and funky little 2-step all the way up to the hotel door as they hugged me goodbye. I’m sure she sang it all the way home. At the time she reminded me of The Little Engine That Could. All I could think was a chugga chugga choo choo!!
Fast forward. I’m on a platform 10 feet in the air about to be pushed into the depths of a 15ft pool. All I could think was how I couldn’t swim, how high I was, drowning, failing the swim test, and getting kicked out of the Navy before I even started. Needless to say, I was scared shitless. For some reason when I got to the top, I thought about my grandmother doing her 2-step choo choo dance and her saying “I can do it, I can do it.” I stepped up and placed my toes over the ledge and thought to myself I can do this. The instructors gave the commands to cross my arms and hold my nose. My heart pounds waiting for the sound of the whistle. It goes off. I close my eyes, squeeze my arms tight across my chest. I tell myself I CAN DO IT!
Reality
I jumped.
I failed.
I lived.
That was over 6 years ago. To this day I catch myself taking a deep breath and saying “Ok Tiffany, you can do this,” then getting busy. I will always be grateful to my grandmother. I didn’t know it then, but in those few words she handed me a key that helped me unlock my potential. Self- affirmation. For the first time, I believed in me. I took control. I told myself I could do it and I did. I jumped. Instead of being pushed and passively letting life happen to me. I decided how I would enter the water.
I failed the swim test. But the next time I wasn’t afraid. I started to enjoy it. All of it, the fear, the fall, and the calm. The feelings of accomplishments and pride after completing something I was so afraid to do. All because I told myself I could. I became an adrenaline junkie.
Unknowingly I turned my feelings of fear into excitement, ready to take on the world. Jumping didn’t solve my problems, but it opened a door to a new perspective on life.
